Divorce vs. Marriage

Being married with two kids a home with a two car garage, and a white picket fence used to be a big part of the "American dream." However, the divorce rate of 50%; highest recorded in American history, would lead you to believe that the new American dream is more like, ”I survived the first marriage, and I’m never doing it again, got the house and supervised visits with the psycho-ex, so the kids know their daddy!!” Maybe, that last part was a little extreme but you know what I’m talking about almost everywhere you look a couple is getting married and two couples are getting divorced. So, it begs the question, which is best marriage or divorce?


The high rate of divorce in the United States is especially alarming because of the high numbers of Christian faith believers who also getting divorced. According to the Barna report, those of the moral right that vehemently proclaim marriage as a sacred entity, that should be between a man and a woman only; are leading the charge among the faiths that are getting divorced. Financial difficulties and infidelity with the opposite and in some cases same sex partners are the chief reasons reported for getting the divorce. This fact brings pause to some who ask the question, “What’s the big deal with gays and lesbians getting the right to be married… in time they’ll only get divorced?”
After being divorced for the three years I realized the good that came from my first marriage but, I also recognized that the divorce had helped develop a sense of urgency with regard to my personal development. To be honest, without being divorced I don't believe I was ever going to be able to obtain a college education while I was married. My duties as a provider often prevented me from concentrating on myself because I had to be the bread winner and while college would eventually lead to a better income there wasn't enough support available to me financially or otherwise. In fact, my life didn’t belong to me anymore and I felt trapped to stay in a marriage that wasn’t going anywhere because of my faith. I knew deep down inside that if I didn’t get out fast, things would only worsen for my family down the road.

As a single man again, I was free and focused on ways to make myself better. And as a result I was able to renew my focus and begin to live out my dream of becoming a college graduate and a Broadcast Journalist. However, there are still many redeeming attributes to being married and there are statistics that show that many marriages are working, as 50% of marriages in America are solid and only end with “death doing us part”.

Having been married for over 8 years, I can say that being married was at times the best time in my young life. I was definitely healthier, more financially secure and happier than I ever imagined as a married man than I ever was being single. Statistics show that married men live much longer fruitful lives than single men and are among the wealthiest in America. I was also more emotionally secure because I didn’t have to doubt whether or not a woman’s intentions were legitimate because I had a committed partner in a wife.

To me it is now clear that whether you choose marriage or divorce the statistics in America are split between the two and there is still room for debate on which is best. Only you and your mate can decide, so choose wisely!