LIFE: Thoughts of the past that can help the future!!

Thumbing the pages of an old but new journal that I started a couple of years ago I stumbled across an entry that struck me as poignant as we celebrate the inaugural summer of our nation's first black president. This entry was penned during the winter of 2005 when I was a recent divorcee and (edited) this morning to protect the innocent and enhance the read.

12/20/2005- It has gotten so bad today that the rapper Nelly has made a rap gold-plated or platinum and diamond grill. Now all of the kids are singing it, “Smile for me Daddy…Whatcha looking at…I wanna see your grill, ya ya grill…Rob the jewelry store and tell them make me a grill.” My ex-wife me told that she has been considering getting my 9-yr old son one and I told her emphatically that I didn’t approve of it and that I had already spoken to him about the matter. But, in an effort to be a little diplomatic about the issue, I said wouldn’t say anything if she decided to go ahead with it.

Before I finished, I went on to say that I think that it is something that should be avoided because you never know what the new mouthpiece will make others think about his character. I told her that I wasn’t afraid that it would be a problem for him but I just thought it was a waste of time and that if she could get something more educational would be a better gift. We talked about investing for the kids’ future and the type of schools that we want to send them to after high school. She and I agreed for once.

Like me she wants them to go to a historically black college or university (HBCU), I know these schools will be helpful in continuing the path of improving their quality of life. Besides, attendance at a HBCU is an experience that will set the stage for them later in life as they will already know what it takes to be successful in a world filled with all types of black people. It will also show them what I have been trying to teach them about there being a time and a place for everything.

This is going to be a very interesting 6-8 years as I buckle down and get on track for myself with regards to my own education and career direction so that I can have some more financial freedom to do the things that will setup my kid's transition into adulthood easier than my transition has been. She was amazingly coherent and she was completely interested in this discussion about the kids. This made my heart smile.

It is a cold and dreary day today. I missed out on getting the wood for a fire because I didn’t think about going by the dumpster when I got off last night, I was hungry and my brain was focused on those Country Styled ribs (mmm, mmm, good) the rain came over night and has continued for most of today. At least there isn’t anymore rain in the forecast for the next couple of days so I should be able to get some by Thursday.

I listened to a local AM radio station Soul 730 again this morning and the DJ Willis Johnson was reading one of the daily “Dear Crooner” letters and this morning’s letter was from a "brotha" who went off on the "sistas". He wrote this scathing letter about how the sistas; some of whom had been writing letters recently requesting information on the available brothas who make $100,000 a year and over; are the No. 2 enemy of the black man next to the white man. This assertion called for a great debate of which they didn’t have time to finish during the show but one that I will attempt to throw my own two cents into the ring and weigh-in on the subject.

Personally, I don’t think the problem is with the ‘sistas’. In my opinion, the biggest problem facing the American black man, is the fact that he does not have anything to believe in. The fact that his women are increasing looking to each other and men from other races for love does not help the situation much.

Unfortunately, far too many of us are still lost, as I am. I believe that is because of the fractured nature of the black family, the racism of American politics and most importantly the fact that we are not galvanized in the struggle to end the racism.

Many of the grey foxes which began the movement during the turbulent ‘60s with Dr. King in this country, are still talking about change but, their voices are becoming mute as they age and our attention span gets shorter and shorter while we gaze aimlessly at computer screens and cell phones. Generation X is not picking up the torch to carry on the struggle of the 21st century. Not since the mid-60s have we had any impassioned leaders who were able to get our collective attention. In the new millennium, we are bound to the American trinkets, like iced-out bling- bling, gold-plated grills, sagging pants and cell phones, all of which are just enough to occupy our minds long enough for “whitey” to continue moving ahead while we are lost to what is going on around us.

Now don’t get me wrong there is a strong contingency of us that have heard the call and are making personal and professional strides to change our place in the world but, what about those of us who are not able to comprehend the severity of not moving forward.

We need to do more to help those brothers and sisters overcome, themselves and their lack of knowledge and understanding about the very real struggle that faces us all in America and the world at large. I will admit that I am no better than many of those among us with our heads in the clouds. When I got out of the military and hell before I left for the military, I vowed to not return to the ‘hood because I was determined to raise my family in a better situation than the one in which I was raised but I did not realize that I was wrong to turn my back on the ‘hood until now. In fact I miss a lot of the ‘hood things that just do not go on in suburbia.



Still I knew that in order to give my kids the kind of educational foundation that they needed, I had to get them out of Dallas Independent School District (DISD). The district has its' pockets of good but this new brand education system has many of the teachers hurting for pay raises and funding for computers and books all the while they have to find ways to manage unruly and over-crowded classrooms, all of which lead to a lack of enough qualified and caring individuals available to teach our children.

When I was in high school, those were some of the same issues our teachers faced but the difference between then and now is the fact that there was a strong nucleus of concerned and conscious black teachers who, when things got deep would all meet together before the start of classes and devise a plan to attack the issue head on. Another thing missing is a strong P.T.A. I remember putting on performances for P.T.A. meetings and being so proud that I was doing something good for the parents but, I remember more how the parents despite not having money for dues, cared enough to come and have their voices heard.

With so many of us in broken relationships and working multiple jobs to stay out of poverty, that the single parent syndrome is draining the life out of our newer and increasingly younger parents not to mention the children that are left to pick up the pieces on their own. We must continue to the fight and give back to the communities that helped rear and raise us from an uncertain future. Not only by word of mouth, but also, in all of our actions. We need to get active and take over the community and really turn things around.

The fictitious war on drugs and gang violence has taken a back seat to city council witch hunts, Republican redistricting, a failed Robin Hood plan, and hollow TAKS testing, all of which are empty attempts by the corporate strong arm to further disenfranchise the black youths of America. Not to mention we are now facing the fact that we are going to continue to be the minority because Hispanics are fast becoming the majority. And every black kid that graduates without having a firm grasp on his/her Spanish will be further relegated to “the back of the bus” in corporate America.

But one thing we do have control over is our money and how we choose to save and spend it. If we were to get back to grass roots efforts of "each one ... teach one" and remember the unity we all had during the early days of the civil rights movement when Dr. King and Rosa Parks led the Alabama bus boycott for over 380 days.

We must remember that "black is still as beautiful" today but we must not only remember the beauty but not be afraid to fight for the right to show and let it shine to all of America in all of our actions. Our voice, the black voice is louder today than it ever could be in the early days but it is so fragmented that often times no one listens. We need to apply some “Super Glue” and get “clue” before our future gets any bleaker. That just my two cents…

Okay, so I’ve been trying to get a head start on stopping smoking cigars because of the obvious health concerns and because I made a personal commitment to stop smoking once I turned 30. I’m only 29 now but I know it won’t be long before I am staring down 30 and I don’t want to disappoint myself. I have been limiting my smoke but when I get stressed, I am compelled to light up. I’ve been wearing this American Heart Association (AHA) bracelet to remind me of the importance of stopping smoking but it doesn’t help much. Lord please deliver me from myself…